I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
