i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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