she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize