I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
