ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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