When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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