i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
