she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
