hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
