Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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