Can i not drive my cunt home
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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