that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We need to get me chipped asap
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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