I'm laying in your front yard are you home
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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