I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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