I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
