I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You need a sexual gate keeper
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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