Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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