Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
