Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
