I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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