what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
