my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize