What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
