I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
