I wanna bring you to show and tell
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
