I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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