He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
