The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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