btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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