a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
