just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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