just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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