the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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