yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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