we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
