their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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