You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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