Me. At least after what I've been through.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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