Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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