I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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