she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
