you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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