Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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