i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
