I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
