It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
