Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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