loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
