I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
