I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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