please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
