We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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