did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
