my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
