That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
