That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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