id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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