I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize