I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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