This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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