The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
A+ Viking dick
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
