Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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