think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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