Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
