i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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