I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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