I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
