is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
