it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
