It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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