I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
