So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
