My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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