i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The adults are the big ones right?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
