Sponge bath it is.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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