Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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