No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
