Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
