apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The ass gains better be worth it
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