i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
