I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
