oh god the rape fog is back!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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