On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
