Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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