Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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