One girl and one boy is just not enough.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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