Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
